I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
