Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
