this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize