Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize