Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
