I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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