weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
do herpes really smell.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
