Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just googled if crying burns calories
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
