I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
