singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
