i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
