how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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