i'm lost and i look like a hooker
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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