she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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