I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
