This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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