She is in my trunk
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
