Porn is love you can see.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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