You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
