Pants 0. Shit 1.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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