So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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