Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
