on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize