i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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