No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
