if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
