So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
