I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
