Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
