TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
