Well apparently he's into motor boating.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
