Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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