Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
