just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
