This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
