i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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