Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I should be sponsored by Trojan
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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