Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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