no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
