i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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