I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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