Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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