whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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