what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize