using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
People in love make me want to vomit
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
