we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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