Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
