my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Randomize
