remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
