I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
