I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
