hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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