We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
