yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize