Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
