Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
