Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize