I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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