in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wish I only lived at night.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize