Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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