dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
