I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize