But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Randomize