its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
