(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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