Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize