Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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