best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
