U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
