a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
