you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
