If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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