i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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