Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
