The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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